If I was a paranoid person, I'd be crapping my pants right now.
I was laying on my couch, listening to some nice mellow music, and on the verge of falling asleep, when I was abruptly jarred awake by my cell phone, which was set to ring at the highest volume possible.
The number on the caller ID wasn't anybody I knew, but I could tell by the prefix that it was a Verizon cell phone from the part of town I live in. I figured it was one of my friends calling from someone else's phone. I answered, even though I'm already 100 minutes over my contract this month.
I'm really still not exactly sure what happened next, but apparently, I was intended to be a booty call of some kind, forwarded by a radio station I had never heard of, as an answer to this girl's attempt to request a song, or something like that. She had no idea why they'd send her to me, I had no idea why they'd have my number, and direct young girls to it, and I don't think either of us really understood what this booty call business was all about, or how we got tangled up in it. We asked each other dumb questions like, "who are you?" and "what's going on?", and once both of us were confident that we were talking to each other only by some sort of bizarre mistake, and not because one of us was dicking with the other, we laughed briefly (hers sounded like a very uneasy laugh), commented on the strangeness of the situation, and parted ways.
I told her I hoped she enjoyed her booty call.
She said it was very gratifying, and then closed with, "Bye, person I've never met!"
"Bye, person I don't know," I replied, but I think she'd already hung up at that point.
a collection of musings on life, politics, culture, and humor.
February 4, 2005
I just saw something that made me want to cry.
Son of the Mask is undisputedly the worst idea anyone has had in the past ten years. Even worse than Blue Superman. Worse than Jurassic Park 3. Yes, even worse than electing George W. Bush a second time.
Before you become enraged and disappointed in me, don't worry, I didn't actually see the movie. But I just watched the trailer, after which I tore my clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and wept bitterly. How could anyone be so heartless as to inflict this scourge upon American society? Aren't we still healing from 9/11, George W., and the breakup of Hall & Oates? This nation can't handle another tragedy like this!
The thing that made The Mask cool eleven years ago was the fact that it was the first movie to ever use that kind of computer animation. Nobody could believe their eyes!
"Did Jim Carey's head REALLY just turn into a cartoon wolf?"
"It must have! There exist no special effects that can do THAT to a man!"
Do you remember all the magazine articles and tv specials about The Mask, explaining how computer animation works? Do you remember all the talk about how this movie will change the face of filmmaking forever? That was because all that stuff was cutting-edge back then! Now, eleven years later, it's not cool anymore! Nearly every movie that comes out uses some kind of computer animation these days. So how can you make a sequel to a movie, which was based entirely around the fact that people would think the animation was cool (didn't ya notice there was no PLOT?), try to use the same tricks as eleven years ago (which everyone is sick of by now), and expect it to be even slightly more entertaining than attending a New Found Glory concert. It's no different than making a movie and having everyone yell and sing and ring bells because people were impressed by Talkies 70 years ago.
Hoping nobody gets it into their heads to make a 9th Gate sequel,
-Caleb
Son of the Mask is undisputedly the worst idea anyone has had in the past ten years. Even worse than Blue Superman. Worse than Jurassic Park 3. Yes, even worse than electing George W. Bush a second time.
Before you become enraged and disappointed in me, don't worry, I didn't actually see the movie. But I just watched the trailer, after which I tore my clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and wept bitterly. How could anyone be so heartless as to inflict this scourge upon American society? Aren't we still healing from 9/11, George W., and the breakup of Hall & Oates? This nation can't handle another tragedy like this!
The thing that made The Mask cool eleven years ago was the fact that it was the first movie to ever use that kind of computer animation. Nobody could believe their eyes!
"Did Jim Carey's head REALLY just turn into a cartoon wolf?"
"It must have! There exist no special effects that can do THAT to a man!"
Do you remember all the magazine articles and tv specials about The Mask, explaining how computer animation works? Do you remember all the talk about how this movie will change the face of filmmaking forever? That was because all that stuff was cutting-edge back then! Now, eleven years later, it's not cool anymore! Nearly every movie that comes out uses some kind of computer animation these days. So how can you make a sequel to a movie, which was based entirely around the fact that people would think the animation was cool (didn't ya notice there was no PLOT?), try to use the same tricks as eleven years ago (which everyone is sick of by now), and expect it to be even slightly more entertaining than attending a New Found Glory concert. It's no different than making a movie and having everyone yell and sing and ring bells because people were impressed by Talkies 70 years ago.
Hoping nobody gets it into their heads to make a 9th Gate sequel,
-Caleb
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