August 17, 2005

To whom it may concern:

I'm not sure who's the joker behind this, but whoever told you that my genitals don't pack the punch they ought to was not serious. This being the case, I would appreciate it if you would remove my e-mail from your courtesy list. Although I sincerely appreciate your concern in this matter, I assure you I am not, in fact, in need of Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, or Russian Sex-Man Rhino Tablets. I thought that my lack of response would be a good enough indication that I'm not really interested in increasing my potency, but looking back now I can see that that just made it look like I was embarrassed to place an order, so you graciously sent me more and more advertisements, even making the effort to disguise the product names in clever ways, such as V1AGGRÁ and C.îALL1S, in case somebody came into my cubicle at work while I was ordering these drugs. Talk about going the extra mile! I sure do appreciate your efforts to remedy this hypothetical problem of mine in the most discrete and convenient manner (no prescription is even required! Wow!), but truth be told, my natural Caleb power can put to shame all of your miracle remedies combined, if they ever went head to head. Not that that's any of your business, though.

So as I said, I appreciate your efforts to provide me with affordable and convenient solutions to impotence, but I really don't need them at all. Thank you for clearing up this misunderstanding. I hate for your firm's efficiency to be compromised because of misdirected efforts, so I'm sure that correcting this error will be beneficial for both of us.

Sincerely,
Caleb B. Ruggiero

PS - If you're also the ones sending me notifications of ~*~College Girl Webcams~*~ and Hot Singles Who Want To Meet ME Tonight, please take note that I am in a very happy relationship and have no desire for your services. Thank you.