we could only hope...

I saw this Marmaduke cartoon the other day, and had to do a double take. Not because it was particularly clever (it wasn't), nor because it was especially stupid (no more than any other day), but because when I initially saw it, I mistook it for something much different than what it actually was.

What Brad Anderson actually drew:

Sigh.

What my mind immediately went to:

Awesome.

Sadly, this is not actually what happened, and we're stuck with more daily installments of Marmaduke until Brad Anderson finally realizes he's out of ideas, or dies.

breast cancer sympathizer seeks used car

There are a lot of organizations trying to cure cancer. Apparently there's at least one trying to promote it.



I think cancer is doing just fine without my donations, thank you very much.

idiom fail

I found this gem in the trash at the retirement community where I work. It was too good to not take home and scan.

(You can click to enlarge if it's too small for your decrepit eyes)



Don't feel bad about laughing at this; the person doesn't have Alzheimer's or anything, he's just lousy at puzzles.

in the critical thinking gang, the initiation is to use google

The forwards are going around. Perhaps you've already gotten one (or seven). I just started getting the mass text message forwards about an hour ago, which warn of a shooting to take place at Walmart in which you, or someone you know, may be a target:

Do not go to wal-mart. Gang initiation to shoot 3 women tonight. Not sure which wal-mart. Confirmed on tv. Send to all girls.

I immediately dismissed this as a hoax, as it has more red flags than a Chinese New Year parade. First off, there are no specifics details included – no mention of a city, metro area, or even state in which this is supposed to take place. It could be anywhere! It may not happen at my local Walmart... but it could! What better way to cause widespread panic among people who don't use Google than to imply that it could happen anywhere in the country (including where you are right now!).

Second red flag is the lack of credible source. Someone writing a genuine warning would be sure to include where the information is coming from, so that others will take it seriously; that source would most likely be a police department or local news outlet. "Confirmed on tv" doesn't cut it, except for those among us who tend to forward first and think critically later.

Third red flag is the sheer implausibility of the situation. For one, gang initiations generally involve some form of property crime (stealing stuff, breaking into things), and/or getting your ass kicked by the other gangsters. Shooting random people as an initiation is purely the stuff of urban legends and "Fwd: Fwd: FW: Fwd: Fwd:Fwd:" emails your grandma sends you. Even if a gang did institute such an initiation, though, you wouldn't be hearing about it through a text or email forward. The initiation would be first known to the police, who would probably not release it to the general public (hopefully), as widespread panic is generally something police departments absolutely want to avoid. You and I would probably never even know about said initiation, except for the news report later that night about a group of plainclothes cops who gunned down a wannabe gangster when he tried to shoot somebody in the Health & Beauty aisle.

EDIT: Although random murder as a rite of passage is uncommon, I didn't mean to imply that it never happens. Unfortunately for people like these girls and this man, it is indeed a sad, albeit rare, reality.

So please, ladies and gentlemen, use your heads before you forward warnings about gang initiations, poison dog food, and waking up in a bathtub full of ice without your kidneys. Does it seem implausible, vague, or incredible? It's probably crap. If you think it might be credible, or you just would rather be safe than sorry, please check out Snopes first, or at least run a simple Google search to make sure you're not simply perpetuating a problem.

is that rounded up or down?

Maybe there's actually π of them.

so radical, it makes me want to punch babies

This is a hundred times sweeter than whatever you put up in your dorm, and you know it.

Three funny words that the British say:

• Whilst
• Firstly
• Somewhen

Aren't those silly words?