Okay everyone, you need to read this article. It's interesting on several levels: The first thought that comes to my head is how can anyone possibly make this mistake? It's really ridiculous. Second, I say it serves him right for using such moronic problem-solving strategies. If only this happened to everyone who sees life the way this guy does, the world would be a much better place. The third, and possibly most intriguing thought, is this guy doesn't seem all that bothered by what happened. If this happened to me, I'd be beside myself! And fourthly, what's up with the dog? It's like he's been waiting and waiting for this to happen, and now it's payday! Ain't no treat like a severed penis, eh?

Anyway, here's the article. Enjoy!

Romanian cuts off penis; dog eats it – MSNBC Reports
[EDIT: It's come to my attention that this story is no longer archived on MSNBC's website. Luckily, I managed to find the text:]

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

Mel Gibson is being stalked by some dude who keeps demanding that they pray together. Zack Sinclair showed up at Gibson's home two days in a row last month, and when he was told to put eggs in his shoes and never come back, he decided to switch tactics and start stalking him at church instead. This didn't fly with Mel, who said that Sinclair "interrupted my worship... and demanded that I pray with him." So seeing how that didn't work, he went back to his original plan and started stalking him at home again. This time, though, the police were called and Sinclair was hauled off to the joint, where he'll stay til his hearing on Wednesday.

And the moral of this story is: I need to be more sly in spying on my neighbor.

<-- Actor Mel Gibson responds to repeated tresspassing by an obsessed fan. "He come around here one more time, and I be popping caps in his punk ass!" the actor may have exclaimed to his wife following the most recent episode. It is unclear whether he was entertaining his family by speaking in a fake English accent at the time of the intrusions. Also unknown is whether or not he owns a t-shirt with the slogan "Party Naked" printed on the front.