Apparently English food is a big joke to the rest of the world. If I say something's good or bad, people say, "Oh, you should know, being the authority on good food and everything." But English cuisine doesn't get enough credit; we're actually quite talented. Who else could take any vegetable at all, boil the living shit out of it, and turn it into complete mush devoid of any taste whatsoever?

- Peter "P.K." Meyer

thefreakkingdom: Why is it that robots always become homicidal when they develop artificial intelligence?
thefreakkingdom: is that the benchmark for real intelligence? The desire to kill?
CalebJDuck: lol
CalebJDuck: apparently
thefreakkingdom: except Short Circuit
CalebJDuck: yes, but i'd be hard pressed to argue that he was really all that intelligent
thefreakkingdom: He did laugh at Steve Guttenberg, after all
CalebJDuck: haha, indeed
CalebJDuck: i rest my case

TomDixon22: I heard that John Kerry was using Friendster...that's the first time I heard of networking sites
TomDixon22: so I specifically didn't sign up
CalebJDuck: haha
CalebJDuck: that's like when Belding started wearing a Buddy Band

Finally, something awesome in my junk mail!

Landrouge: ill pull a goldenberg
Landrouge: and complain about this soup
CalebJDuck: lol, what?
Landrouge: ill be a jew
Landrouge: and complain

What makes you think human beings are sentient and aware? There's no evidence for it. Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told - and become upset if they are exposed to any different views. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their 'beliefs.' The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion.

-Ian Malcolm in The Lost World by Michael Crichton

To whom it may concern:

I'm not sure who's the joker behind this, but whoever told you that my genitals don't pack the punch they ought to was not serious. This being the case, I would appreciate it if you would remove my e-mail from your courtesy list. Although I sincerely appreciate your concern in this matter, I assure you I am not, in fact, in need of Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, or Russian Sex-Man Rhino Tablets. I thought that my lack of response would be a good enough indication that I'm not really interested in increasing my potency, but looking back now I can see that that just made it look like I was embarrassed to place an order, so you graciously sent me more and more advertisements, even making the effort to disguise the product names in clever ways, such as V1AGGRÁ and C.îALL1S, in case somebody came into my cubicle at work while I was ordering these drugs. Talk about going the extra mile! I sure do appreciate your efforts to remedy this hypothetical problem of mine in the most discrete and convenient manner (no prescription is even required! Wow!), but truth be told, my natural Caleb power can put to shame all of your miracle remedies combined, if they ever went head to head. Not that that's any of your business, though.

So as I said, I appreciate your efforts to provide me with affordable and convenient solutions to impotence, but I really don't need them at all. Thank you for clearing up this misunderstanding. I hate for your firm's efficiency to be compromised because of misdirected efforts, so I'm sure that correcting this error will be beneficial for both of us.

Sincerely,
Caleb B. Ruggiero

PS - If you're also the ones sending me notifications of ~*~College Girl Webcams~*~ and Hot Singles Who Want To Meet ME Tonight, please take note that I am in a very happy relationship and have no desire for your services. Thank you.