For all of you who have expressed concern about my dad this past week, I apologize for being so late in updating you on his situation. As usual, I've been busy with school and stuff, and when some free time actually came my way, I had much more productive things to do than spend it writing HTML.

So anyway... Dad spent last Friday night at the hospital, as I said, and came home Saturday. The tests indicate that he didn't have a heart attack, which is a good thing because that means there's not necessarily going to be tissue damage. They still don't know what the heck was wrong with him, though. Tests are still being run on his blood, and we should have the results in the next few days. In the meantime, the doctors say it could have been anything from a lung infection to really nasty indigestion.

As far as my neighbor goes, I haven't seen her coming or going in a few days. All she does now is walk around the garage, and around the front yard... but she doesn't actually drive anywhere! I think she might be on to me...

I went to bed at around midnight last night, and I slept til 10:30 this morning. That was pretty sweet. I would've slept in even longer, but I was awakened by a call from my mom, telling me that my dad was in the ER. It seems he had a heart attack, but they won't know for sure until tomorrow. They need to run a blood test to check for biomarkers, which are enzymes and stuff that show up in the blood following cardiac arrest. If they find these biomarkers, then that means he had a heart attack. If they don't, then I have no idea what else could have caused a sudden feeling like "someone punched a hole through my chest" that then radiated to his jaw. So I'm hoping for the heart attack option.

In other news, I'm becoming obsessed with my neighbor. I watched her pull into her driveway tonight, like that black guy watched Nicolas Cage in Gone In 60 Seconds. "Time to see if she drives over the grass!" I said as I stood in the dark street, probably looking like a real pervert.

What happened next remains a mystery to me. My neighbor pulled into the driveway, parked in the garage, and went inside her house... but I couldn't see whether she drove on the lawn or not. But even if she didn't, she sure came close. You know that portion of the driveway where it becomes the sidewalk? I think she drove over that part. So I can definitely see why I shouldn't park there.

But I still need to see her leaving the house in order to verify my original hypotheses that (1) she only backs up in a straight line, and (2) she somehow manages to drive on the lawn when backing out. Once I am able to verify these hypotheses, I will be able to further develop my theory that my neighbor is a crappy driver.

In the meantime, I think I'll park as far away from her house as possible.

Leering voyeuristically in the window with binoculars,

-Caleb

Above: The only photograph that shall ever be used on this site to depict my sister-in-law, Lauren Ruggiero. And as for the smack down you promised, bring it on, my little friend, bring it on...