Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

July 14, 2009

granny rents sexy movie for kids, outraged at sexual content

Outrage is mounting in Brooklyn after a grandma checked out a copy of Austin Powers at her local library, and found someone had taped over the end, replacing it with porno (LOL). According to The New York Post, she grossly overreacted to the incident, going straight to her assemblyman to complain. The assemblyman, who apparently thinks that representing his constituents means behaving exactly like them, responded with an even greater overreaction, demanding that all VHS tapes be removed from New York public libraries. Wait, what?

But it gets better. Quoth the Post:

Esther Klein got the tape from the Borough Park branch for her three grandkids, ages 7 to 15. The X-rated footage appeared as the credits rolled at the end.

Seriously, lady? You let your 7-year-old grandkid watch a PG-13 movie, which is well known for its strong sexual content (and has an MPAA notation clearly stating this fact right on the box), and then freak out when some porn shows up during the end credits? What's the matter with you? If I were your assemblyman, my response to your complaint would not be to launch an asinine campaign against VHS, but to tell you to be a responsible adult, to stop showing adult material to second graders, and to generally start using your brain. Oh yeah, and not to waste the state assembly's time with matters that should be dealt with by your local branch librarian.

Seriously, what's the matter with people? Every time I start thinking maybe humanity isn't all that bad...

April 23, 2009

everything to be said has already been said, but i'm going to say something anyway

The other day, my friend mentioned to me that she was surprised I hadn't posted anything about the Miss USA pageant controversy, as it is standard practice for me to comment on such things. I had no idea what she was talking about, as I hadn't yet read the internets that day, so I made my way to YouTube to find the incident in question. And I must admit, I was more than a little disappointed. Sorry, but beauty queens stammering out goofy drivel has been a little played out this past year, and it really isn't worth my time to comment on such old-hat anymore.

But then tonight, while enjoying a generator of random images, I found this cartoon, and couldn't resist posting it:



So now you can be happy, Kris; I've commented on your pageant scandal. Now I'm going to bed.

October 17, 2008

if you don't want to see it, maybe you ought to

I've not yet seen Bill Maher's new movie Religulous, but I'd really like to. After reading this review, I'm even more excited about it.

Please note that I didn't write this (I haven't seen it, remember?); I'm just reproducing someone else's work.

Movie Review: Religulous
by Steve Holt

I saw Bill Maher’s Religulous on Saturday night. Maher, along with Borat director Larry Charles, has produced a “scripted comedy” (Maher is careful not to call this a documentary) in which he pokes holes in supernatural belief and its’ wildly different manifestations around the world. To say he targets the lowest common denominators in the interviews he chose for the movie would be a gross understatement; a group of toothless long-haulers at a truck stop church provides the movie’s most heart-warming moment from a spiritual perspective. Besides the truckers, Maher speaks with:

…the curator of the Creation Museum in Hebron, Ky.
…two gay Muslims in Amsterdam.
…a radical, anti-Zionist Rabbi, who, shockingly, frustrated Maher to the point that the slick-haired comedian actually took his mics off and ended the interview.
…a drug-laced Amsterdam man who believes marijuana produces a religious experience.

Again, Maher is not making a documentary, which, by the strictest definition, is more of an objective, journalistic look at a subject from every angle. He produced Religulous with one goal: to demonstrate the stupidity, and ultimately the danger, of religion.

If I were to judge his success solely based on the information given in the film, I probably would not still be a follower of Jesus. But my thought throughout the film - which is side-splittingly hilarious, by the way - was that “this is not the whole story.” In fact, much of the fodder for Maher’s ridicule is not even part of the story.

A 5,000-year-old Earth?
Bling-donning pastors preaching health and wealth?
A Puerto Rican dude who claims to be the anti-Christ?

Is this all you got, Bill? Really?

But as we left a packed Boston theater, I realized that Maher is asking the same questions as many of those exiting around us. The conversations I overheard revealed a deep distrust in institutionalized religion first and foremost, with an openness to the unexplainable and mysterious. For many Americans, Maher is stepping out as the only one willing to publicly say some of these things, and people of faith would do well to listen.

Those of us who do believe (and live, and act, and hope) could have one of two reactions to a movie like this.

1) Boycott it. Undoubtedly, this is the stance of many Evangelical Christians in America. Their view? Maher shows his cards before we ever sit down at the table, and he cheats, smokes, drinks and cusses his way through the poker game. So we’re sitting this game out. Sorry, Bill.
2) Watch it. You’ll laugh right along with your heathen neighbors at the stupidity of the faithful. You’ll cringe at the bad theology. But you’ll be taking a seat at a conversation already in progress, occurring in the back alleys, pubs, book clubs, and universities of the world. Basically everywhere besides the church.

Of course, I hope Christians will choose the latter. But when we see this film, we should remember a couple things. First, resist the temptation to defend religion. Religion binds, harms, and causes its adherents to follow suit. Religion is man-created, and therefore broken. In this film, Maher is simply observing and underscoring what we’ve known for thousands of years: that left to our own devices, humans have always taken the teachings and actions of Jesus and Muhammed and Yahweh and changed and added to them to suit our own selfish desires, leading to some of the worst atrocities history has ever seen. Maher is almost completely correct in his gloomy assessment of religion, the man-made and imperfect institution.

Second, remember that for many of us, there’s an alternative story to Maher’s assessment of religious belief, especially Christianity. At one point, Maher asks an Evangelical who ascribes to a Lehaye-esque End Days theology a thoughtful question: “Doesn’t all this talk about the end of the world prevent Christians from actually improving the world today?” My answer, to quote Sarah Pailin, is “You betcha.” We know that following Jesus means joining the ancient, cosmic rescue operation begun by God through his remnant in Israel, and continued and sealed through the life, death, resurrection and reign of Jesus of Nazareth. As N.T. Wright puts it, Jesus’ death and resurrection doesn’t mean we are saved from the world, but saved into the grand mission of God. Through communities of Christians around the world, God is changing apartment complexes, blocks, cities, and nations into that which God created them to be.

The religion that goes to war, divides over petty issues, and alienates the world [that God so loved] is not true religion. According to James, true religion is the kind that follows Jesus in looking after the most marginalized ones in our society, which in Jesus’ day were widows and orphans.

At the end of the day, my assessment is that like many other agnostics/skeptics/atheists, Maher’s main problem isn’t so much with belief or the person of Jesus, but with fallen believers who choose to follow what he believes is a fairytale instead of actually making the world a better place. He’s also on the offense against absolute certainty among the faithful without doubts or questions … you know, the ones who lean on supposed proven empirical data, the Bible as science text book, and warmed over clichés as their foundations.

These answers simply won’t fly for Maher, whose questions stump nearly everyone with whom he speaks. The clichés and pat answers also won’t fly with most of our neighbors.

I’ll close by returning to the most positive depiction of the faithful Maher gives us in his film, the guys in the truck stop chapel. After the chaplain gives Maher a few minutes to take to the pulpit to ask a few of his biting questions, a number of men leave the service. But a few stick around, politely answering his questions to the best of their ability. They are clearly not Ph.Ds in theology, but they do listen to Maher (a courtesy Maher does not grant to every one of those he speaks with) and then pray for the comedian before he leaves.

As Maher walks away, he has a smile on his face, a genuine look of peace. His departing words to the circle of mostly overweight, toothless rednecks is startling:

“Thank you for being Christ-like, not just Christians.”

Amen, Bill.

Author Bio: Steve Holt is a disciple, writer, husband, and proud father to an apricot mini poodle, and he lives and conspires in East Boston, MA. You can find his musings about faith, culture, and mission at harvestboston.wordpress.com

November 16, 2005

thefreakkingdom: Why is it that robots always become homicidal when they develop artificial intelligence?
thefreakkingdom: is that the benchmark for real intelligence? The desire to kill?
CalebJDuck: lol
CalebJDuck: apparently
thefreakkingdom: except Short Circuit
CalebJDuck: yes, but i'd be hard pressed to argue that he was really all that intelligent
thefreakkingdom: He did laugh at Steve Guttenberg, after all
CalebJDuck: haha, indeed
CalebJDuck: i rest my case

February 4, 2005

I just saw something that made me want to cry.

Son of the Mask is undisputedly the worst idea anyone has had in the past ten years. Even worse than Blue Superman. Worse than Jurassic Park 3. Yes, even worse than electing George W. Bush a second time.

Before you become enraged and disappointed in me, don't worry, I didn't actually see the movie. But I just watched the trailer, after which I tore my clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and wept bitterly. How could anyone be so heartless as to inflict this scourge upon American society? Aren't we still healing from 9/11, George W., and the breakup of Hall & Oates? This nation can't handle another tragedy like this!

The thing that made The Mask cool eleven years ago was the fact that it was the first movie to ever use that kind of computer animation. Nobody could believe their eyes!

"Did Jim Carey's head REALLY just turn into a cartoon wolf?"
"It must have! There exist no special effects that can do THAT to a man!"

Do you remember all the magazine articles and tv specials about The Mask, explaining how computer animation works? Do you remember all the talk about how this movie will change the face of filmmaking forever? That was because all that stuff was cutting-edge back then! Now, eleven years later, it's not cool anymore! Nearly every movie that comes out uses some kind of computer animation these days. So how can you make a sequel to a movie, which was based entirely around the fact that people would think the animation was cool (didn't ya notice there was no PLOT?), try to use the same tricks as eleven years ago (which everyone is sick of by now), and expect it to be even slightly more entertaining than attending a New Found Glory concert. It's no different than making a movie and having everyone yell and sing and ring bells because people were impressed by Talkies 70 years ago.

Hoping nobody gets it into their heads to make a 9th Gate sequel,

-Caleb