some haikus about george w bush

This post is part of a feature where people give me a topic, and I write 12 haiku about it. This post is brought to you by @thelobito.

George W. Bush
The 43rd President
Of the USA

He is from Texas
Used to be the governer
Before Rick Perry

He talked like a dork
And looked kind of like a chimp
What a tragedy

I bet that Al Gore
Wishes that guy Ralph Nader
Just stayed out of things

Bush owned the Rangers
The MLB baseball team
Not park services

Why did Jake Tremblay
Ask me to write twelve haiku
About Dubya Bush?

"I'm the decider!"
Was one of the stupidest
Things he ever said

Most agree that he
Was not a good President
But some think he was

The best thing he did
Was move Daylight Savings Time
And that's about it

The War on Terror
Even a child could tell you
Bad idea, man

You know it's bad when
Even John Kerry looks good
In comparison

Now that he's retired
I have less malice toward him
But he sure was bad

some haikus about new delhi

This post is part of a feature where people give me a subject, and I write 12 haiku about it. This post is brought to you by @BigCP46.

New Delhi haiku
Are bound to be a challenge
'Cause I'm ignorant

Googling New Delhi
Now I feel like a big dork
It's in India

I think New Delhi
Is infinitely better
Than that Old Delhi

Visiting this place
You may find an Indian
Not the cowboy kind

India is big
The biggest population
In the whole dang world

What do you think of
When you think of New Delhi?
Men with pants, perhaps?

Being in India
New Delhi's bound to get hot
In the summertime

The best part about
The country of India
Is Indian food

I love to eat naan
It's ever so delicious
But that's off topic

Writing twelve haiku
About a place in Asia
Harder than you think

FDR would say
"New Delhi is a ripoff
Sounds just like New Deal"

No stereotypes
Not going to write about
Technical support

some haikus about why david cameron looks like a lesbian

This post is part of a series where people give me a topic, and I write 12 haiku about it. This particular topic comes from @brittneygirl.

David Cameron
He's England's Prime Minister
Brittney says mean things

Why does he look like
A lady who isn't straight
Instead of a man?

I bet his haircut
Has something to do with it
But I'm not sure why

Does he look the part
Because he has a jawline
That has a soft curve?

I have no problem
With people who are not straight
Feel bad writing these

What if it turned out
That Cameron was really
Not a man at all?

What the heck, Brittney?
This is such a weird topic
You're some kind of freak

David Cameron
Does he really look that much
Like a lesbian?

It would be much worse
If he were seen in photos
With Justin Bieber

Some things that he does
Are things that lesbians do
Like liking women

Picture Cameron
Smooching Margaret Thatcher
On second thought, don't

No one knows for sure
Why he looks like the L-word
But he kind of does

some haikus about the national football league

This post is part of a feature where people give me a topic and I write 12 haiku about it. This particular topic comes from @DavidSeawright.

NFL stands for
The National Football League
It's a group of teams

Does ESPN
Have exclusive rights to it?
I don't really watch

The Oakland Raiders
Their mascot has an eye patch
But where's his crack pipe?

Sunday Night Football
I've never even watched it
What time is it on?

What's with those stupid
New England Patriot jerks?
Can't they lose for once?

Go San Diego!
Chargers wear blue and yellow
I like Padres more

What's with the pig skin?
Is that really a bladder?
That's pretty effed up

In the Batman show
The Animated Series
Robin played football

Remember that guy
Who wore a chicken costume?
I heard he sold out

Managers are rich
Didn't George Bush own a team?
Or was that baseball?

I hear concussions
Are a problem in football
Helmets are useless

Despite what they say
When I watch the Superbowl
The commercials suck

some haikus about lubed up dolphins

Lubed up dolphins rock

They're faster than the others

They use Vaseline

Oiled up porpoises

Lubed up for high performance

They're shiny when wet

If i could ride one

I'd ride a greasy dolphin

The best ride in town

Swimming freaking fast

Incredible lubed dolphins

All the girls love them

My favorite dolphins

Are the ones who’re all greased up

Like Swiss muscle men

From nose to flipper

Covered with KY jelly

Slippery, lubed up dolphins

If I could own one

I’d buy a lubed up dolphin

And name him Lubie