a psa from me to you

Behold, my first attempt at singing outside of a karaoke bar.



Remember, the only 100% effective protection is abstinence.

mrs. watson-parker was unavailable for comment

Well, I got on the boat pretty late, and chances are you did too. Did you know that a website has been set up for citizens to suggest and vote on policies for Obama's incoming administration? Apparently the Top 10 ideas, as determined by voting, will be presented to Obama and the 111th Congress for full consideration. That doesn't mean the Top 10 ideas will automatically be enacted, naturally (and once you see some of the top votes, you'll be glad that's the case), but Obama does seem pretty keen on involving the electorate in shaping his administration, so I wouldn't discount the contest as a waste of time, either.

While I'm wholeheartedly against the use of "voter guides", I do think it's a valuable exercise to discuss the issues on the table. I'd love to write about each of the ten initiatives I voted for (and some of the ones I didn't), but I simply don't have the time for that today. I will, however, tackle one of the issues. I'm writing about this one because it is, at the time of this writing, in first place among all the dozens of initiatives on the website, so it's obviously important to a lot of people. And obviously, since I voted for it, it's important to me too.

Ideas for Change: Legalize the Medicinal and Recreational Use of Marijuana.

Before I go any further, let me just say that using any recreational drugs, including marijuana, is stupid, and I do not endorse drug use or abuse in any way. Having said that, though, I do endorse the idea that adults should have the right to make their own personal health decisions, and the federal government has no right whatsoever to dictate what can and cannot be consumed by an individual, provided it doesn't harm anyone besides the moron doing it. The government acknowledges that we should be allowed to destroy our bodies and minds with tobacco and alcohol, yet doing the same with cannabis is prohibited. It simply doesn't make sense.

But restoring individual rights isn't the only benefit to decriminalizing the reefer; it would also make a pretty decent dent in the federal defecit, and right now we need whatever dents we can get. Think about it: We currently have pigovian taxes on tobacco, alcohol, and other harmful taxable items, ostensibly to discourage use and help pay for any damage they cause. Marijuana would certainly be a candidate for such a tax, so why not legalize it for the sake of the much-needed tax revenue it would generate? Even greater than the money it would bring in, is the money it would save. How much cash are we pouring into police, FBI, DEA, state and federal courts, county jails, state and federal prisons, probation and parole departments, et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseam, in order to combat marijuana? Now imagine not spending all those millions every year.

Decriminalizing pot would drastically reduce crime, too – particularly organized crime. If marijuana could be grown openly on American farms, the drug cartels would lose much of their power. This would result in a drop in violent crime, which would not only save lives, but law enforcement and emergency services resources as well (and again, the tax dollars that support such services). Now I'm not so naive as to think that the cartels wouldn't bounce back, finding other drugs to subsidize their losses... which is why I also advocate legalizing many other illicit drugs, thereby taking away pretty much all of their power... but we're talking about a marijuana initiative, so I won't spend any more time talking about other drugs. Perhaps I'll delve further into it in a future post.

But wait, this isn't Denmark! I don't want to be running into long-haired stoners every time I turn a corner, or share the highways with reefer-headed space cadets! Hey, neither do I, and don't worry, that won't happen. There are already laws in place in all 50 states (correct me if I'm wrong) against public intoxication, DUI, and DWI, and it'll remain just as illegal to swagger around stoned as it is to stumble around drunk. Let's not throw the baby our common sense out with the bathwater ridiculous and unconstitutional federal laws.

So that's my rationale behind voting to legalize marijuana for medicinal and recreational use. It may be controversial, but I stand by it. Washington, Adams, Jefferson, and Franklin would stand by it too.

i did it because it was itchy

You know how when you give blood, they wrap that sticky bandage around your arm and tell you to keep it on for four hours? Well, today I found out why they want you to keep it on so long. If you only wait three hours instead of four, you might be greeted upon its removal by a spurt of blood from your vein that may or may not get all over your shirt and make you look like a sloppy heroin addict. It is most unfortunate that I learned this information through direct experience, instead of just reading about it in a blog like you did.

Baby, Have A Space Head
An epic poem by Caleb Benjamin Ruggiero

Still feeling a little sick
Although it's mainly just congestion now
And constant need for water
Don't you love me anymore?

Huffing Vicks® straight from the jar
I even put some in my nostrils
Then I read the label and it said not to do that
Don't break my heart, baby.

My bottle is 1.5 liters
I go through about six a day
Talk about thirsty!
You used to be so sweet
Baby, you used to have a space head.

I don't like being sick
And I don't like the ache of losing that such a loss brings
Why don't you do me like before, baby?
Baby, why don't you have a space head.

1. I've been sick, but I'm getting better. Right now it's at that stage where I feel fine, but have lots of snot... which isn't too far off from my normal state.

2. I've been having really weird dreams lately. The other night I dreamed that Conan O'Brien was so impressed by the fact that I drink out of a canteen, that he told me I had a very good chance of getting featured on his Spring Break tour. Yeah, I don't know what that means either, but it was cool.

I figured California would be the first to do it, but the tiny, isolationist nation of Bhutan has just enacted the world's first total ban on tobacco. If you're one of the estimated 7,000 smokers in the country, never fear; you're still free to smoke – so long as you do it within the confines of your home, and the fumes don't mix with the outside air. And you'll have to have your cigs imported from neighboring India, too, because it's illegal to buy or sell tobacco products within the country's borders. Not only that, but you can look forward to paying a 100% sales tax on the imported smokes in addition to the purchase and shipping costs.

I know Bhutan has never been much of a trend-setter, but I really hope this idea catches on. The world needs it. If this was a high school newspaper, I would have said, "The rest of the world would do well to catch this law second-hand," but I'm not gonna lower myself to that level.

Amazed that smoking is still allowed in 193 countries,

- Caleb

For all of you who have expressed concern about my dad this past week, I apologize for being so late in updating you on his situation. As usual, I've been busy with school and stuff, and when some free time actually came my way, I had much more productive things to do than spend it writing HTML.

So anyway... Dad spent last Friday night at the hospital, as I said, and came home Saturday. The tests indicate that he didn't have a heart attack, which is a good thing because that means there's not necessarily going to be tissue damage. They still don't know what the heck was wrong with him, though. Tests are still being run on his blood, and we should have the results in the next few days. In the meantime, the doctors say it could have been anything from a lung infection to really nasty indigestion.

As far as my neighbor goes, I haven't seen her coming or going in a few days. All she does now is walk around the garage, and around the front yard... but she doesn't actually drive anywhere! I think she might be on to me...

I went to bed at around midnight last night, and I slept til 10:30 this morning. That was pretty sweet. I would've slept in even longer, but I was awakened by a call from my mom, telling me that my dad was in the ER. It seems he had a heart attack, but they won't know for sure until tomorrow. They need to run a blood test to check for biomarkers, which are enzymes and stuff that show up in the blood following cardiac arrest. If they find these biomarkers, then that means he had a heart attack. If they don't, then I have no idea what else could have caused a sudden feeling like "someone punched a hole through my chest" that then radiated to his jaw. So I'm hoping for the heart attack option.

In other news, I'm becoming obsessed with my neighbor. I watched her pull into her driveway tonight, like that black guy watched Nicolas Cage in Gone In 60 Seconds. "Time to see if she drives over the grass!" I said as I stood in the dark street, probably looking like a real pervert.

What happened next remains a mystery to me. My neighbor pulled into the driveway, parked in the garage, and went inside her house... but I couldn't see whether she drove on the lawn or not. But even if she didn't, she sure came close. You know that portion of the driveway where it becomes the sidewalk? I think she drove over that part. So I can definitely see why I shouldn't park there.

But I still need to see her leaving the house in order to verify my original hypotheses that (1) she only backs up in a straight line, and (2) she somehow manages to drive on the lawn when backing out. Once I am able to verify these hypotheses, I will be able to further develop my theory that my neighbor is a crappy driver.

In the meantime, I think I'll park as far away from her house as possible.

Leering voyeuristically in the window with binoculars,

-Caleb