30% of your food will become courtney love

I have a bad habit of buying more food than I need when I go to the store. It's not a big deal when it comes to canned food and things like that, but when I buy more fresh food than I need, most of it ends up going bad before I have a chance to eat it. A group in Brazil has created fliers concerning this issue, which they've passed out to shoppers entering supermarkets. Apparently it's been pretty effective; I know I've changed my shopping habits after seeing these flyers.

You can click on the picture for the full size version.

i lol'd. irl.

Authorities: Burglar wakes men with spice rub
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080908/ap_on_fe_st/odd_sausage_attack

FRESNO, Calif. - Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing...(more)

That's the most amazing thing I've read in at least a week.

"well open up the stick with your wife barrel"

I had Chinese food last night, and I got this fortune in my cookie. I think they accidentally got my fortune mixed up with someone else's.



Somewhere in Jersey, some Guido got a cookie that told him "YOU'D RATHER JUST SIT AROUND AT HOME AND READ FARK WITH NO PANTS ON".

fast food: ads vs. reality

You ever notice how that sandwich never quite looks like the picture on the menu?

You're not alone. I stumbled upon this head-to-head comparison of 13 different fast food products' menu pictures and real-life counterparts, and things seem to be even worse than I remembered back in my fast food days. Here's a sample of the goodness that lies within:

Barf. And there's 12 more where that came from. Quoth the author:

Each item was purchased, taken home, and photographed immediately. Nothing was tampered with, run over by a car, or anything of the sort. It is an accurate representation in every case. Shiny, neon-orange, liquefied pump-cheese, and all.

Mmm, gotta love that shiney pump-cheese. Anyone else getting hungry? No? That's cool, I guess. Anyway. check out the full list, if you need inspiration for a diet or something: http://www.thewvsr.com/adsvsreality.htm

Apparently English food is a big joke to the rest of the world. If I say something's good or bad, people say, "Oh, you should know, being the authority on good food and everything." But English cuisine doesn't get enough credit; we're actually quite talented. Who else could take any vegetable at all, boil the living shit out of it, and turn it into complete mush devoid of any taste whatsoever?

- Peter "P.K." Meyer

Trader Joe's has been my favorite grocery store for years. I've always enjoyed their quality products at quality prices, and especially their commitment to listening to the needs and desires of their customers. But all that has changed. After more that 25,000 customers, myself included, emailed the company HQ to ask that they follow the lead of their top two competitors - Whole Foods and Wild Oats/Henry's - and carry only cage-free eggs, the company blew us off as "an activist group" and posted a response on their web site, chock full of lies and misinformation, defending their refusal to listen to the concerns of their customers. Among said lies is the claim that egg production is carried out under strict FDA and USDA guidelines for humane treatment. The truth is, there are NO government guidelines whatsoever concerning treatment of laying hens. They also pointed out that the eggs they carry are "Animal Care Certified". Naturally, they failed to mention that the Better Business Bureau has declared twice that "Animal Care Certified" is a misleading label unsubstantiated by reality, and that the "Animal Care Certified" promotion is currently the subject of a false advertising lawsuit, as well as pending legal action by the Federal Trade Commission.

In 2002, Trader Joe's stopped carrying duck meat because of customer concerns over the inhumane treatment of ducks. But really, how many people buy duck, anyway? They could stop carrying duck meat, and not even have a noticeable cut in profits. But there's a lot more money to be made in eggs, so when faced with the exact same concern for a big money-making product, it's a lot cheaper to write off the customers as political zealots and bleeding-heart propagandists. It's nice to see Trader Joe's true values come to light. It's not the customers. It's not the community. It's not quality. It's MONEY. Nothing more, nothing less. They're just another greedy corporation that doesn't care about anything other than the bottom line. Well, I'm not gonna take it, and neither should you.

I urge you to do what I've already done about it. E-mail Trader Joe's and politely, but firmly, tell them that you expect them to practice what they preach and actually listen to their customers, and that you want them to stop carrying battery-cage eggs. In addition to e-mailing, call their customer comment hotline at (626)599-3817 (West Coast) or (781)455-7319 (East Coast) and politely tell them you want the company to sell only cage-free eggs.

As for me, until Trader Joe's repeals their statement branding me a political extremist and uninformed boob, I will be taking all of my business to Henry's, Baron's, and Whole Foods Market.

UPDATE: On November 7, 2005, Trader Joe's announced that all of their TJs brand eggs will henceforth be cage-free. As their brand constitutes the vat majority of the eggs they sell, this is fantastic news for chickens.

Being a vegan isn't always easy when you live in a conservative town like San Diego. Ignorance comes in all shapes and forms, from the daily bombardment of jokes and wisecracks (promptly followed by "no offense," as if that changes anything); to the flabbergasted "You mean you don't even eat eggs???" asked with the same amazement and chagrin that would follow if I'd just revealed that I'm into bestiality; to the ever-popular, "Why the hell would you want to be a vegan?"; and everything in between.

Maybe I should revise my statement. Being a vegan isn't any harder in San Diego than it would be in Berkeley. There's no force compelling me to eat a cheeseburger or buy a new pair of leather tennis shoes. I mean, suppose you don't like alcohol. Not drinking isn't going to be a chore for you, even if you're a freshman at San Diego State University. Seeing as I'm thoroughly disgusted by animal products, not giving them my patronage is as natural to me as not driving a rusty screwdriver through my temple. Yes, saying it isn't easy isn't really accurate. I guess it'd be better to say it's frustrating. Frustrating because I'm surrounded day in and day out by self-absorbed ignorami who, for some reason or another, feel that because my lifestyle is different from theirs, I should therefore become the object of their scorn and contempt.

I was born lucky. I happen to be a white European male in slightly-upper-middle class southern California. I've never been the object of any form of racism or any major sexism, and my God is affiliated with the religion that happens to be the most popular one in America. I spent two decades enjoying the easy life that my DNA and geography happened to afford me, and it wasn't until I made the decision to stop eating animals that I was really on the outs with anybody. One deviation from mainstream culture and suddenly you've gone from an "us" to a "them." If you ever want to see which of your friends are real friends and which are just ignorant sods, all you have to do is go vegan. Trust me, it's much easier than going homosexual, and you'll get the same effect.


Answering criticism that their Chicken McNuggets are made from disgusting mechanically separated and recongealed chicken flesh, McDonalds announces their new "McIdentifiable" chicken product.