So MacWorld was today, and nerds and geeks all around the world tuned in to their favorite streaming video purveyors to catch Steve Jobs' 90 minute keynote speech. For the benefit of those of us who would rather not sit through an hour and a half of Jobs Jabber(TM), the folks at Mahalo.com made the following video:
The Steve Jobs 90 Minute Keynote in 60 Seconds
So what will you do with the remaining 89 minutes? I've got a few suggestions for you ;-)
a collection of musings on life, politics, culture, and humor.
January 16, 2008
January 10, 2008
fast food: ads vs. reality
You ever notice how that sandwich never quite looks like the picture on the menu?
You're not alone. I stumbled upon this head-to-head comparison of 13 different fast food products' menu pictures and real-life counterparts, and things seem to be even worse than I remembered back in my fast food days. Here's a sample of the goodness that lies within:
You're not alone. I stumbled upon this head-to-head comparison of 13 different fast food products' menu pictures and real-life counterparts, and things seem to be even worse than I remembered back in my fast food days. Here's a sample of the goodness that lies within:
Barf. And there's 12 more where that came from. Quoth the author:
Each item was purchased, taken home, and photographed immediately. Nothing was tampered with, run over by a car, or anything of the sort. It is an accurate representation in every case. Shiny, neon-orange, liquefied pump-cheese, and all.Mmm, gotta love that shiney pump-cheese. Anyone else getting hungry? No? That's cool, I guess. Anyway. check out the full list, if you need inspiration for a diet or something: http://www.thewvsr.com/adsvsreality.htm
geekfitti
Every so often, the stars align and create something that delights the geek, artist, and stick-it-to-the-man-iness in me. The geekfiti movement is one of those very somethings. It also satisfies my considerateness of other people's property, because geekfitti artists tend to do their work in non-permanent mediums. So they're bad ass, but not jerks.
Check out all the goods in WebUrbanist's geekfitti gallery.
January 1, 2008
predictions for 2008
This is it! 2008 is going to be a great year; I can feel it! And even if it's only so-so, it'll seem like the year of jubilee coming after the most mediocre year I've ever seen in my life. Seriously, 2007 blew. But 2008 is going to rock. Hard.
And here's what will take place:
* I will get a new job. This job will be full time, and will pay enough that I only have to work the one job, and not two jobs. I will have time for hobbies, I will have a social life, and I'll actually have some of my paycheck left in the bank by the next payday. I've heard of that concept before; I think it's called "saving".
* Brent, of course, will contract yet another STI.
* Someone I know will get engaged. This seems like a pretty safe bet these days; it's like there's a contagion going around, and at least one or two friends get infected every year.
* I read at least one book in its entirety. This is a much more realistic prediction than last year's.
* Big energy breakthrough.
* I make a new friend or two, who turn out to be really good ones. Yeah, I predicted this last year and was wrong, but this year I'm getting a new job and a social life, remember?
* Caleb makes some music. And not the kind that comes from eating lots of beans and cabbage.
* Caleb eats lots of beans. Doubtful on the cabbage.
* Charles is a gentleman caller to a young lady. For at least 45 minutes.
* Someone fairly unlikely gets discovered and given no less than 15 minutes of fame. This is someone I know, not just some random fool like that bro who got tased.
* Absolute madness, mischief, and mayhem of the highest degree.
And here's what will take place:
* I will get a new job. This job will be full time, and will pay enough that I only have to work the one job, and not two jobs. I will have time for hobbies, I will have a social life, and I'll actually have some of my paycheck left in the bank by the next payday. I've heard of that concept before; I think it's called "saving".
* Brent, of course, will contract yet another STI.
* Someone I know will get engaged. This seems like a pretty safe bet these days; it's like there's a contagion going around, and at least one or two friends get infected every year.
* I read at least one book in its entirety. This is a much more realistic prediction than last year's.
* Big energy breakthrough.
* I make a new friend or two, who turn out to be really good ones. Yeah, I predicted this last year and was wrong, but this year I'm getting a new job and a social life, remember?
* Caleb makes some music. And not the kind that comes from eating lots of beans and cabbage.
* Caleb eats lots of beans. Doubtful on the cabbage.
* Charles is a gentleman caller to a young lady. For at least 45 minutes.
* Someone fairly unlikely gets discovered and given no less than 15 minutes of fame. This is someone I know, not just some random fool like that bro who got tased.
* Absolute madness, mischief, and mayhem of the highest degree.
December 31, 2005
predictions for 2006...
* Brent gets a woman.
* Abe Vigoda still alive.
* Talk of impeachment, pointless squabbles follow.
* Somebody I know gets engaged. Probably someone nobody would expect.
* I get my college degree, but not without complications.
* Someone from the past returns to shake things up a bit.
* Conspiracies revealed in multiple levels of government, indictments follow.
* A respected actor, a beloved comedian, and an international icon will all die. People will freak out, saying, "They always die in threes," ignoring the plethora of famous people who die all the time by themselves.
* More great disasters, thousands more killed.
* Caleb gets a full time job, a bachelor pad, and an STD.
* Brent gets three STD's.
* Someone gets fired.
* A wish comes true, but so does one of those "be careful what you wish for" wishes.
* I win the respect of an adversary, but probably make new adversaries in the process.
* I make a new friend, who turns out to be a pretty good one.
* I exercise fairly regularly.
* A good shirt gets ruined in the laundry.
* Get Smart released on DVD.
* Something huge happens in Europe.
* Big news concerning toilets.
* Madness, sheer madness.
* Abe Vigoda still alive.
* Talk of impeachment, pointless squabbles follow.
* Somebody I know gets engaged. Probably someone nobody would expect.
* I get my college degree, but not without complications.
* Someone from the past returns to shake things up a bit.
* Conspiracies revealed in multiple levels of government, indictments follow.
* A respected actor, a beloved comedian, and an international icon will all die. People will freak out, saying, "They always die in threes," ignoring the plethora of famous people who die all the time by themselves.
* More great disasters, thousands more killed.
* Caleb gets a full time job, a bachelor pad, and an STD.
* Brent gets three STD's.
* Someone gets fired.
* A wish comes true, but so does one of those "be careful what you wish for" wishes.
* I win the respect of an adversary, but probably make new adversaries in the process.
* I make a new friend, who turns out to be a pretty good one.
* I exercise fairly regularly.
* A good shirt gets ruined in the laundry.
* Get Smart released on DVD.
* Something huge happens in Europe.
* Big news concerning toilets.
* Madness, sheer madness.
December 17, 2005
bob cratchit would shoot you in the face if he got the chance.
If I hear one more person complain about this alleged "war on Christmas," I'm gonna slap them silly. Nobody is out to get rid of Christmas. There are no supervillains sitting in their lairs, concocting diabolical schemes to rid the world of Christmas once and for all, laughing heartily with their henchmen about how now Chanukah will be the big winter holiday.
Seriously, if someone who doesn't know you wants to give you a friendly greeting, do you really expect them to say, "Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Super Solstice, and Bitchin' Festivus, depending on whichever holiday you happen to celebrate, as well as Happy Thanksgiving, Boxing Day, and a Happy New Year too"? No, because not only would that be stupid, it would be a waste of everybody's time and an annoyance. So shut up and quit complaining about "Happy Holidays" and just be glad that you're not getting a laundry list of seasonal greetings that will just piss you off and make you late for your pilates.
But wait, it gets even worse. I was at Souplantation the other day, and there was a family sitting at the table next to mine, and the mom seemed very agitated that there was a "Happy Happy Hanukah" sign hanging on one of the doors, but not a "Merry Christmas" sign. She made a fuss about it and even asked her server why there's not a "Merry Christmas" sign. Of course he doesn't know or care about the background of the holiday decorations, so he says he'd have to ask the manager about it. As time went by, I heard her continue to complain to her family about it, and wonder aloud why she hasn't gotten an answer yet. Thankfully I resisted the urge, but I really wanted to just get up and throttle her and be like, "You see the Christmas lights hanging up in here? You see the Christmas wreaths on the doors and windows? You see how the dessert bar is adorned with holly and garland, and the pillar holding the ceiling up is wrapped in candy cane stripes? You see the red and green Christmas bows on every lamp in the building? You see that little Christmas tree by the coffee machine, with the little Christmas presents beneath it? Why isn't all this enough for you? Why are you so bent up about not having a 'Merry Christmas' sign on the door to the freaking broom closet? Yes, there is a 'Happy Happy Hanukah sign displayed in an effort to include Jewish customers in the festivities. Why is that so offensive to you? Do you hate Chanukah? Are you an anti-Semite? Would you prefer that we exclude Jews from our celebration? Huh? Well answer me!" Yeah, clearly Souplantation is fighting on the front lines of America's war on family values by not including a "Merry Christmas" banner among their many, many Christmas decorations.
And what's everybody's problem with "Xmas"? "Oh, that's secular America's attempt to take Christ out of Christmas!" they keep telling me. Bull freaking crap. If you bothered to do any amount of learning up on the subject before you started complaining, you'd know that the Greek letter Chi, which is identical to our letter X, is the first letter in the Greek spelling of "Christ", and has been used for nearly 20 centuries as a shorthand abbreviation for His name. That's taking Christ out of Christmas, alright. Just like "E-mail" is a plot to take "electronic" out of "electronic mail service".
As long as we're on the subject, am I the only one who finds it ironic that people get themselves so worked up about this supposed usurpation of Christ from Christmas, and how we need to remember the true meaning of the holiday... meanwhile they're stepping over homeless people freezing to death on the street, on their way to Wal-Mart to spend extravagant sums on unnecessary gadgets and toys that were made by 9-year-old sweatshop workers who slave 60+ hours a week to just survive? That's the true meaning of Christmas, alright. Glad you're here to defend it against those damn liberals who are trying to keep us from worshipping materialism -- I mean Jesus Christ -- this Christmas season.
So if you don't like the dechristianization of Christmas, instead of bitching about it all day long, why don't you do something to put Christ back into it? Stop worrying about buying stupid crap for people, and instead worry about what you can do to make someone's life a little better. Instead of handing your money over to line Sam Walton's pockets, why don't you use it to put food in someone's mouth, or shoes on some kid's feet? Turn off the Christmas lights and use the money you save on your electric bill to buy a few Meals on Wheels for people who can't leave their homes. Go visit some old people in the local nursing home; the only human contact those poor folks usually get is people trying to shove pills down their throats. Or how about taking all the time and energy you'd spend protesting "Xmas" and putting it towards helping out that single mom who works 50 hours a week and has three kids to take care of? You wanna get Christ back into Christmas? Go show His love to the people who need it most.
And stop shopping at freaking Wal-Mart.
Above: A man dressed in a Santa suit protests Wal-Mart's "Home for the Holidays" ad campaign, saying that it denies Christ and cheapens the meaning of Christmas, which apparently is Santa Claus.
Seriously, if someone who doesn't know you wants to give you a friendly greeting, do you really expect them to say, "Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Super Solstice, and Bitchin' Festivus, depending on whichever holiday you happen to celebrate, as well as Happy Thanksgiving, Boxing Day, and a Happy New Year too"? No, because not only would that be stupid, it would be a waste of everybody's time and an annoyance. So shut up and quit complaining about "Happy Holidays" and just be glad that you're not getting a laundry list of seasonal greetings that will just piss you off and make you late for your pilates.
But wait, it gets even worse. I was at Souplantation the other day, and there was a family sitting at the table next to mine, and the mom seemed very agitated that there was a "Happy Happy Hanukah" sign hanging on one of the doors, but not a "Merry Christmas" sign. She made a fuss about it and even asked her server why there's not a "Merry Christmas" sign. Of course he doesn't know or care about the background of the holiday decorations, so he says he'd have to ask the manager about it. As time went by, I heard her continue to complain to her family about it, and wonder aloud why she hasn't gotten an answer yet. Thankfully I resisted the urge, but I really wanted to just get up and throttle her and be like, "You see the Christmas lights hanging up in here? You see the Christmas wreaths on the doors and windows? You see how the dessert bar is adorned with holly and garland, and the pillar holding the ceiling up is wrapped in candy cane stripes? You see the red and green Christmas bows on every lamp in the building? You see that little Christmas tree by the coffee machine, with the little Christmas presents beneath it? Why isn't all this enough for you? Why are you so bent up about not having a 'Merry Christmas' sign on the door to the freaking broom closet? Yes, there is a 'Happy Happy Hanukah sign displayed in an effort to include Jewish customers in the festivities. Why is that so offensive to you? Do you hate Chanukah? Are you an anti-Semite? Would you prefer that we exclude Jews from our celebration? Huh? Well answer me!" Yeah, clearly Souplantation is fighting on the front lines of America's war on family values by not including a "Merry Christmas" banner among their many, many Christmas decorations.
And what's everybody's problem with "Xmas"? "Oh, that's secular America's attempt to take Christ out of Christmas!" they keep telling me. Bull freaking crap. If you bothered to do any amount of learning up on the subject before you started complaining, you'd know that the Greek letter Chi, which is identical to our letter X, is the first letter in the Greek spelling of "Christ", and has been used for nearly 20 centuries as a shorthand abbreviation for His name. That's taking Christ out of Christmas, alright. Just like "E-mail" is a plot to take "electronic" out of "electronic mail service".
As long as we're on the subject, am I the only one who finds it ironic that people get themselves so worked up about this supposed usurpation of Christ from Christmas, and how we need to remember the true meaning of the holiday... meanwhile they're stepping over homeless people freezing to death on the street, on their way to Wal-Mart to spend extravagant sums on unnecessary gadgets and toys that were made by 9-year-old sweatshop workers who slave 60+ hours a week to just survive? That's the true meaning of Christmas, alright. Glad you're here to defend it against those damn liberals who are trying to keep us from worshipping materialism -- I mean Jesus Christ -- this Christmas season.
So if you don't like the dechristianization of Christmas, instead of bitching about it all day long, why don't you do something to put Christ back into it? Stop worrying about buying stupid crap for people, and instead worry about what you can do to make someone's life a little better. Instead of handing your money over to line Sam Walton's pockets, why don't you use it to put food in someone's mouth, or shoes on some kid's feet? Turn off the Christmas lights and use the money you save on your electric bill to buy a few Meals on Wheels for people who can't leave their homes. Go visit some old people in the local nursing home; the only human contact those poor folks usually get is people trying to shove pills down their throats. Or how about taking all the time and energy you'd spend protesting "Xmas" and putting it towards helping out that single mom who works 50 hours a week and has three kids to take care of? You wanna get Christ back into Christmas? Go show His love to the people who need it most.
And stop shopping at freaking Wal-Mart.
Above: A man dressed in a Santa suit protests Wal-Mart's "Home for the Holidays" ad campaign, saying that it denies Christ and cheapens the meaning of Christmas, which apparently is Santa Claus.
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