o chius!

There was a trailer parked in front of my house today when I got home from school, so I parked across the street in front of my neighbors' house. Later in the day, I happened to be out front, and my neighbor approached me and requested that I move my car. "I can't get out of my driveway," she told me. "You've gotta move it like, two feet. Or I'll take your front bumper off." Hmm, I thought as I examined my parking job. My front bumper was just in line with the edge of her lawn. Does this mean she drives over her grass every morning when backing out of the driveway? Probably. But even if I happened, for some reason, to be parked half way into her driveway, she should easily be able to avoid hitting me. It's just a matter of looking behind you and turning the wheel. But she seemed pretty confident that she would be trapped – a prisoner in her own home – if I didn't repark my car. So based on her insistence, I've concluded that she drives on her lawn when backing out, and she only knows how to reverse in straight lines.

And the moral of the story is: my neighbor is a crappy driver. If you see a white minivan on the road, keep your distance.