socks revolution, day 6

I went out and bought a dozen new black socks today, eliminating my need to sort any socks at all, save for my brown and green ones. But those are easy.

who is chius, anyway?

I have no idea who Chius is. All I know is that he lived in or around ancient Pompeii, had an unfortunate dermatological condition, and managed to fall out of the good graces of some smart ass with a disregard for public property.

That's right, ol' Chius was the subject of some ancient graffiti. He's not the only one in his town to befall this fate, either. Turns out Pompeii was chock full of graffiti, much of which shows strikingly how little man has changed since ancient times. Here are some of my favorites:
(sources: 1, 2, 3)

O Chius, I hope that your ulcerous pustules reopen and burn even more than they did before!

Pyrrhus to his colleague Chius: I grieve because I hear you have died; and so farewell.

Whoever loves, go to hell. I want to break Venus' ribs with blows and deform her hips. If she can break my tender heart, why can't I hit her over the head?

Atimetus got me pregnant.

Litus, you are a mediocre man.

Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

We pissed our beds. I know, O Host, we were wrong.
Ask why? There was no chamber pot.

On the 9th of November Quintus Postumius invited Aulus Attius to have homosexual intercourse with me.

Celadus the Thracier makes the girls moan!

Someone at whose table I do not dine, Lucius Istacidius, is a barbarian to me.

Here Harpocras has had a good fuck with Drauca for a denarius.

Watch it, you that shits in this place! May you have Jove's anger if you ignore this.

Myrtis, you do great blow jobs.

We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.

At Nuceria, near the Roman gate, is the district of Venus. Ask for Novellia Primigenia.

I screwed the barmaid. (written on a tavern wall)

Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog.

Marcus loves Spendusa.

Celadus the Thracian gladiator is the delight of all the girls.

I have buggered men. (written on someone's house)

If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.

Secundus likes to screw boys.

I screwed a lot of girls here.

Sollemnes, you screw well!

If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a fuck, he should look for Attice; the price is four asses.

Epaphra, you are bald!

Phileros is a eunuch!

Samius to Cornelius: go hang yourself!

Epaphra is not good at ball games.

Secundus defecated here. (written three times on one wall!)

Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here.

O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin.

This is not a place for idlers. Leave, you who have nothing to do.

in the critical thinking gang, the initiation is to use google

The forwards are going around. Perhaps you've already gotten one (or seven). I just started getting the mass text message forwards about an hour ago, which warn of a shooting to take place at Walmart in which you, or someone you know, may be a target:

Do not go to wal-mart. Gang initiation to shoot 3 women tonight. Not sure which wal-mart. Confirmed on tv. Send to all girls.

I immediately dismissed this as a hoax, as it has more red flags than a Chinese New Year parade. First off, there are no specifics details included – no mention of a city, metro area, or even state in which this is supposed to take place. It could be anywhere! It may not happen at my local Walmart... but it could! What better way to cause widespread panic among people who don't use Google than to imply that it could happen anywhere in the country (including where you are right now!).

Second red flag is the lack of credible source. Someone writing a genuine warning would be sure to include where the information is coming from, so that others will take it seriously; that source would most likely be a police department or local news outlet. "Confirmed on tv" doesn't cut it, except for those among us who tend to forward first and think critically later.

Third red flag is the sheer implausibility of the situation. For one, gang initiations generally involve some form of property crime (stealing stuff, breaking into things), and/or getting your ass kicked by the other gangsters. Shooting random people as an initiation is purely the stuff of urban legends and "Fwd: Fwd: FW: Fwd: Fwd:Fwd:" emails your grandma sends you. Even if a gang did institute such an initiation, though, you wouldn't be hearing about it through a text or email forward. The initiation would be first known to the police, who would probably not release it to the general public (hopefully), as widespread panic is generally something police departments absolutely want to avoid. You and I would probably never even know about said initiation, except for the news report later that night about a group of plainclothes cops who gunned down a wannabe gangster when he tried to shoot somebody in the Health & Beauty aisle.

EDIT: Although random murder as a rite of passage is uncommon, I didn't mean to imply that it never happens. Unfortunately for people like these girls and this man, it is indeed a sad, albeit rare, reality.

So please, ladies and gentlemen, use your heads before you forward warnings about gang initiations, poison dog food, and waking up in a bathtub full of ice without your kidneys. Does it seem implausible, vague, or incredible? It's probably crap. If you think it might be credible, or you just would rather be safe than sorry, please check out Snopes first, or at least run a simple Google search to make sure you're not simply perpetuating a problem.

socks revolution, day 3

I think I've pretty much completely acclimated to the ankle socks now. I'm wearing jeans today (vs. khakis yesterday), and the exposure problem doesn't seem to be an issue. Maybe the solution is to wear dress socks (which are crew length) with my khakis, and my regular (ankle) socks with jeans and shorts. Which reminds me, I think I need to revolutionize my dress socks, too. They're even worse to sort than my (old) white ones.

socks revolution, day 2

I'm now used to the feeling of wearing ankle socks, but I feel I look sloppy when I cross my legs and part of my bare leg is exposed between my pant leg and my shoe. I briefly considered the possibility of wearing ankle socks with shorts and crew socks with long pants, but this would defeat the whole purpose behind the socks revolution (not having to match up socks).

Does anybody have any suggestions for me?

socks revolution, day 1

It felt strange putting my socks on this morning and not tugging beyond a few inches. My legs felt naked, bare, exposed. Vulnerable to attack. I hope I made the right decision.

socks revolution, prelude

Ladies and gentlemen, I have done something radical.

I have just bought 20 pair of new socks to replace the motley rabble of white socks I've spent a lifetime using. The rabble consisted of countless varieties and ages of socks, requiring me to pair them up individually (no quick task), when putting away my laundry. The new socks are all exactly the same, which means I don't have to pair them up at all; I can just toss them all into a drawer with no folding, no sorting, and no problems. It'll be amazing.

I've never had all uniform socks before, and I haven't had a new pair of socks since I was in high school. I feel very extravagant, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little guilty about this luxury.

But now for the radical part:

Being that it's 2009 (The Best Year Ever™), I decided to make a drastic change. I went with ankle length socks. After wearing exclusively crew socks for 27 years, this is quite a change. Will my socks always feel like they are falling down? Will the elastic last longer due to less stretching? Will my legs get cold more easily? These are all questions I must face, and to which I will soon know the answers.

Either way, though, I think I made the right decision. 2009: A Year of Changes ™.

another open letter to michael steele

Dear Mr. Steele,

In light of your rescinding your comments about Limbaugh, I rescind my comments about your good leadership.

Sincerely,
Caleb B. Ruggiero
San Diego, CA

an open letter to michael steele

Chairman Steele,

I just got through reading some shocking comments that some hardline Republicans have made about you in response to your recent comments about Rush Limbaugh. No doubt some of these comments have made their way to your inbox by now, so you're aware of the venom I'm referencing. I just wanted to write you to express my support for your stance against the incendiary, divisive rhetoric that too often comes from the mouths and pens of partisan windbags who reside on AM radio and the dark corners of the blogosphere.

I have never cared for Rush Limbaugh and his fellow AM blowhards, and quite frankly, I never thought anybody took him seriously until recently. He's such a caricature of himself that I just assumed he was kind of an inside joke in the GOP. But now that I've become aware that many Republicans not only take him seriously, but actually view him as their party leader, I am terrified. Really, truly, terrified.

You certainly have a full plate in front of you, don't you Mr. Chairman? There seems to be a civil war within the party between conservatives and neoconservatives. It is my hope that, like the great first leader of your party, you will be able to end this civil war and neutralize this dangerous rebel faction. I hope for this not because I'm particularly concerned about the future of the GOP (I'm a proud independent), but because I'm concerned about the future of our nation. Working to ensure the failure of our President and his economic recovery policies, whether we agree with them or not, is not only childish, but gravely irresponsible politics. I commend you for taking a stand against such behavior. It's a shame to see that, for many Republicans, "Country First" was nothing more than a campaign slogan.

It's not very often I find a Republican politician I can proudly support, but you have earned my support today. Keep up the good work in supporting responsibility in politics.

Sincerely,
Caleb B. Ruggiero
San Diego, CA

[In addition to posting this blog, I also emailed the same letter to Mr. Steele. I encourage you to join me in supporting Mr. Steele's stance against divisiveness with an email of your own, directed to Chairman [at] GOP [dot] com]