o chius!

I just saw something that made me want to cry.

Son of the Mask is undisputedly the worst idea anyone has had in the past ten years. Even worse than Blue Superman. Worse than Jurassic Park 3. Yes, even worse than electing George W. Bush a second time.

Before you become enraged and disappointed in me, don't worry, I didn't actually see the movie. But I just watched the trailer, after which I tore my clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and wept bitterly. How could anyone be so heartless as to inflict this scourge upon American society? Aren't we still healing from 9/11, George W., and the breakup of Hall & Oates? This nation can't handle another tragedy like this!

The thing that made The Mask cool eleven years ago was the fact that it was the first movie to ever use that kind of computer animation. Nobody could believe their eyes!

"Did Jim Carey's head REALLY just turn into a cartoon wolf?"
"It must have! There exist no special effects that can do THAT to a man!"

Do you remember all the magazine articles and tv specials about The Mask, explaining how computer animation works? Do you remember all the talk about how this movie will change the face of filmmaking forever? That was because all that stuff was cutting-edge back then! Now, eleven years later, it's not cool anymore! Nearly every movie that comes out uses some kind of computer animation these days. So how can you make a sequel to a movie, which was based entirely around the fact that people would think the animation was cool (didn't ya notice there was no PLOT?), try to use the same tricks as eleven years ago (which everyone is sick of by now), and expect it to be even slightly more entertaining than attending a New Found Glory concert. It's no different than making a movie and having everyone yell and sing and ring bells because people were impressed by Talkies 70 years ago.

Hoping nobody gets it into their heads to make a 9th Gate sequel,

-Caleb