o chius!

I was at the deli the other day having some lunch, and the TV was tuned to this stupid daytime show for people who have no lives of their own, called "Celebrity Justice". The announcer had just introduced the show's top story of the day with the headline, "The latest news in the Michael Jackson trial", when I hear a voice beside me go, "Did they hang him?" Not wanting to encourage an idiot in any way, I ignored the comment and took another bite from my sandwich. But of course, it's never that simple. Idiots persevere. "Is that an option?" I heard the voice say again, "can they hang him?" I looked over to my right to see a thirty-something doofus looking directly at me, ear to ear grin on his stupid face, awaiting my approval of his oh-so-clever remarks. I raised my eyebrows and let out a very unenthusiastic "heh", and continued with my sandwich. This seemed to please the moron, and he turned his gaze back to the TV, now feeling very validated. This exchange got me to thinking. What is it about unwitty people that makes them think anybody wants to hear their stupid comments? I don't even know this guy, and he's attempting really crappy jokes with me. It wasn't even funny. There was no wit in his comment, no fast thinking or cleverness whatsoever. He just blurted out the first rubbish thing that entered his mind. Not only did this complete lack of substance keep him from opening his big mouth in the first place, but he kept on going even after I ignored him the first time. I wonder what goes on in the head of someone like that? "Well, that didn't go over so well, did it? Maybe it'll be funnier if I say the exact same thing, only louder!"